Being a dad

Once again its been a long time since I last posted a blog, all is well here with Team Ferrell, Piper and Maizy are both growing and gaining just like they should be (thanks to Piper getting rid of gluten in her diet!)

Todays post will be a bit different, as I will be updating again soon with updates about the girls and of course Maizy's upcoming 1st birthday!  Yesterday June 15, marked the one year anniversary of our move to KC to await the arrival and subsequent heart surgery of our miracle Maizy.

But this post will be a bit different, this post in honor of Father's day will be a little different, it will be a little about and just a little about being a dad.

Too many times I turn on the computer now and hop on Facebook to see all sorts of ridiculous things people choose to share, and recently the ones that hit home are the ones about being a dad, or really a lack thereof.  I don't know if it's an absence of fathers in many of our lives, but it seems that what should just be something a dad is supposed to do, or even just a parent should do, is now supposed to be some amazing accomplishment.  You don't get a damn trophy because you make a half-assed attempt at caring for your children, and also children are children they are not interferences in your social life.  Grow up, and by the way no one feels sorry for you because you had to have your kids this weekend thus you cannot kick it at the clubs.  All you are doing is embarrassing yourself, man up and be a father.

But I digress...well for now at least.  Really what this post is supposed to be is on how I am dad, what it means to me.  Many of you know, and if you don't you sure do now, but my father in general was absent my entire life,  he was an alcoholic that left when I was roughly 5 years old and with the exception of some Christmas holidays and birthdays, I nor my siblings ever saw him.  I am now 33 years old, I have not seen my father since I was 16.  Does he call...well he used to when he was drunk enough, but that's even stopped now.  My father not only was absent but he never paid, albeit the rare occasion, any child support either, so my mother was forced to do it all on her own.  Thus Father's day really didn't mean much to me for a very long time.  Of course we would spend it with my grandfather on my moms side but other than that, Fathers Day was a non-issue, just another day. 

As sad as that may sound to some it really was the best, had my father been present in my life I am almost certain I would not be where I am, nor the person I am today.  Yet the absence of a father figure was tough, many missed opportunities but most important no example for me on how to be a father, or really for that matter a man.  Most of the small amount I learned I got from my maternal grandfather.  I thank him to this day for all he did for our family as we struggled through many trying times.

So how do you become a good father if yours was non-existent, how do you know how to be a man when the man who should be your main influence has made it very clear that you are not important.  The answer is simply instinct, you just do it.  You take care of your children because they are your children.  Is it difficult to figure it out all on your own...you bet it is, and I have been lucky to have some good examples namely my grandfather and also my father-in-law.  In essence my parenting is doing exactly the opposite of what my father did.

Everything changed when my children where born, life becomes about taking care of them, keeping them happy and making sure they are raised correctly.  I have never felt love like the love I have for my children and the love they return to me.  I feel bad on the rare occasion I think about my father because he missed out on so much not being around to raise his children.  But that was his choice and his loss. 

Being a father is single-handedly the most amazing/difficult/exhilarating/frustrating job, but it's worth every second when you come home from work and your little one comes running at you full speed to give you a hug, and tell you that they love you, and that they are so glad you are home.  All I know is that I am single handedly the luckiest guy in the world, I am truly blessed.  I have an amazing wife with two of the greatest kids in the world that teach me everyday what love truly is.  If you asked the Justin at 23 if this is where he would be at 33...he certainly wouldn't think so, but the Justin now knows this is exactly where he should be, and I am so very thankful for all I have been through that got me to where I am today. 

So fathers out there no matter the situation do the best by your children, and if the situation with mom is not good, don't let them see that.  My parents made no secret of their disdain for one another, and it damages children when you do that.  Dad's man up it's high time many of us started acting like dads.  It's not easy, but you just do it. 

Thank you Traci, Piper and Maizy for making me the dad/man I am today. 

I love you more than you could ever know!