Mommy had a meeting

Well tonight Traci had a meeting so I was given the evening to hang out with the girls, and when I say evening it was about an hour, and when I say hang out...I mean lets see how bad we can screw with dad.

First off we finished up dinner and that seemed to be going okay....maybe this will turn okay for me.

Next off bathtime...that went okay, after we got out I was getting Maizy ready while Piper waited patiently wrapped up in her towel.  Then I heard "Hey daddy....." I turned my head to see Piper smirking at me just long enough to toss off her towel and take off running naked out of the bathroom...."bye daddy!" she screamed.  Okay so I at least have one child dressed.

 So I went out into the family to tell Piper I needed to try to put Maizy to sleep..."Okay daddy I will help you."  I told her that the best way to help was to stay in the family room and play quietly with her princess castle.  "Okay but I don't want to wear any clothes..."  I reluctantly agreed because I knew she knew that I was holding a 7 month old and she was going to get to do whatever the hell she wanted.  Plus sometimes you just need to run around naked.

So I went to Maizy's room and started to give her a bottle and get her to sleep....that was when things got quiet in the family room....not like a "please be quiet" kind of quiet....but more like a property damage/daddy I broke my leg/I think this is on fire kind of quiet.  That was when I realized something....I had not taken Piper to the bathroom after her bath.  See Piper has been potty trained since before she was two...she took to it fast, which was awesome and spearheaded by Traci, but sometimes when she gets to playing, and having fun you need to make sure she goes potty.  Well she had a lot to drink today and I made a mental note before bathtime to make her go potty when she got out of the tub...that mental note was apparently written in Chinese because I completely missed it. 

So just as Maizy closes her eyes, the silence is broken in the family room..."UH OH DADDY I NEED HELP...I HAVE TO PEE!"  The only thing that came into my head was "Oh shit, please don't pee on the carpet...mom's only been gone for 40 minutes."  She came running in the room...."Daddy I peed...sorry....I told you I had to go...." then she ran out.  Oh great.  So I put Maizy in bed...she was asleep at least so I hadn't completely failed at getting the girls tended to while mom was gone. 

I came out of the room just in time to see the headlights of Traci's car coming up the driveway.  So I had to move quick to find the place Piper peed in an attempt to make it look like all hell had not broken loose the hour she was gone.  It was pretty easy to find where Piper peed...somehow she was able to piss all over a throw pillow that was on the floor...not a drop on the carpet....well played Piper, well played.  I quickly picked up the pillow as Traci came walking through the door...first thing out of Piper's mouth was "Mommy I peed on the pillow." "It's okay" I said "I got Maizy into bed and asleep and Piper had an accident while I was in Maizy's room." 

Traci then went into the Maizy's room to check on her, and was that sweet little girl who was asleep two minutes earlier still asleep?  Oh no...she was wide awake smiling as if to say "Hey mom, I pretended to be asleep because I wanted to f*ck with daddy!"

So in review....Traci left for roughly an hour for a meeting, Piper ran around naked, Maizy faked sleeping, Piper pissed on a pillow...and Traci just kind of smiled at me like the slow kid in 5th grade who finally stopped eating glue. 

Kids 1  Dad 0

But hey if it wasn't for this kind of stuff, life would certainly be boring...and not smell like pee.  LIFE IS GOOD!